April 19, 2008

Another new song, 1st draft

Following up on my earlier blog, "The Songwriting Process is Weird", I've written a 2nd and 3rd verse for the song. So here's the first draft lyrics, I will post a rough cut on my myspace site, myspace.com/rroper, so you can hear the music.

No Title Yet
by Rob Roper 1st draft April 19, 2008

She took off for Biloxi, with a banjo on her back
and left me here in Denver, trying to understand
I heard thunder in the distance, but I never thought it'd rain
and now you say, you'll be ok

Chorus
But try and explain that to my heart
It cries when it's left out in the dark
Like a child, it wants to have its way
everyday, and feel no pain
(hey-hey-hey)

Well, I've got a friend, all she does is cry
'cause he won't return her calls, and she don't know why
She showed me the pictures, of that beach in Mexico
I tried to say, you'll be ok, (but she said...)

Chorus
Try and explain that to my heart
It cries when it's left out in the dark
Like a child, it wants to have its way
everyday, and feel no pain
(hey-hey-hey)

Most good things come to an end
That's the way it's always been
Just listen to your brain, it's easy to explain
So what's wrong? Just move on

Chorus
But try and explain that to your heart
It cries when it's left out in the dark
Like a child, it wants to have its way
everyday, and feel no pain
(hey-hey-hey)

3 comments:

Kurt Loken said...

Hey Rob,

Definitely one of your better ones. The verses seem fine to me as is, but as a father of young children...I think the chorus might need a tweak....there is something that just doesn't click for me. The emotional flow seems to have a discontinuity.
(It could just be me though so definitely get more inputs from others before you change it.)

I like the use of a child who wants to have his way, but the heart out in the dark involks fear. Is it emotional fear...or emotional anger at not getting want you want...or is it the inability of the heart to let go...i.e., a clinging.

My son definitely clings to his blanket...and it can cause quite a scene if it is taken away...I don't think he is thinking about "pain" in an absract way...I think he just wants his damn blaket back because in his mind it is his and should always be his and how dare the malevalent forces of the universe (his dad) remove it from him...what an injustice! To him, the blanket is the sole source for being at peace with the world (which isn't really true...he likes a lot of other things...just not at that moment...he has no emotional perspective). Not sure he is feeling fear, but someone being dumped might.

The brain and the heart don't work on the same tempo when it comes to letting go (rationally and emotionally), and I like your song for tackling that topic.

Hope this helps.

Kurt

Jannie Sue "Funster" said...

Hi!

There are really some cool images in here. Heard the thunder, but never thought it'd rain. The banjo on her back, wonderful visual, really grabs me.

The only thing that jars me a bit is when you first go to the word "You." Since you'd been using "She" and "I" and "me" before that came in, it confused me a bit. "And now you say, you'll be okay" Do you know what I mean?

However, I think the "you " leads in just fine to tell your friend in verse 2.

Without even hearing the chorus melody, something tells me it works really well and I'd love to hear the MP3.

Anyway, there are my (humble) thoughts.

Hey, for a title "Try To Explain That To My Heart?"

Jannie,
who found you by Googling "songwriting blog"

Jannie Sue "Funster" said...

I gotta say, it's probably been over a week or so since I listened maybe 3 times to your MySpace MP3 of this tune and the chorus will sometimes be running through my head!

Bravo!
Jannie